So Much Living

I've been given the opportunity to make some big changes to my life. Especially a change that could affect next school year, and how I spend my time- who I spend it with, etc. A change that I thought I should make- a change I've been dreaming about since I was five. But as I reached that point of change I realized something:

I've got too much living to do.

To restrict myself, to narrow my world, would, at this point be sheer torture to me. I would always be wondering what else I could be doing- even though the change itself would be wonderful fun, I recognized something about myself:

I want to do so much.

I want to go on a missions trip to every continent.

I want to back pack across Europe with Amanda.

I want to visit Lavinia in Australia and acquire an Australian accent.

I want to be an R.A.

I want to have "chic parties" which tons of younger girls can come to and eat chocolate cheese cake, and tell me all their problems, their jokes, and their crushes.

I want to teach little children how to talk. I want to open their ears to the wonder of laughter and music. I want let them hear the love that fills their parents voices, and the lullabies that their mothers sing.

I want to spend a summer in D.C.

I want to spend $400 dollars on a pair of shoes and not have to explain to anyone why I did such a ridiculous thing- because it is a ridiculous, but wonderfully fun extravagance.

I want to photograph Indiana in black and white film- the parts of Indiana that no one sees- the parts that make people love and live in the Midwest.

I want to get to know EVERYONE! Their quirks, their secrets, their hobbies, and what makes them laugh. I want to have friends of each gender and every nationality.

I want to learn about each field of study- every interesting detail, each unique fact.

I want to study in Oxford, England.

I want to go to an inaugural ball, and I want to meet the royal family of England- any and all of them.

I want to go hanggliding.

I want to write, and write, and write, until I crank out a book worthy of publication.

I want to earn enough money to buy my parents that cottage they've been wanting (for as long as I can remember) on the shores of Lake Michigan. The same cottage they gave up when they decided to adopt my two unnamed little sisters from China.

The list goes on, and I know that to accomplish what I want it would take about one hundred lives. But I've decided that before I limit and constrict my life to one specific sphere, I would like to reach out and see all the other spheres.

I want to live vicariously.

I want to live with enthusiasm and zest.

I want to live surrounded by a broad group of people and their ideas and personalities.

I just want to LIVE!!!!