Who I Am
I've been trying to change. Several outside forces acting on my life have impacted me in such a way as to make me want to change. I wanted to measure up- not to God's standards, but to other people's. If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm a people-pleaser. Very much so. The people I wanted to be like, to emulate, are of different personalities and goals in life than I am- they have different pursuits, different passions, they look at life differently, and that attracted me. So I started to try... and I tried and tried. I wanted to change my personality. I wanted to be logical, extensively educated/intelligent, and open minded. I wanted to think about things objectively, and discuss topics such as logic, philosophy, and religion. I wanted to present informed oppinions.
And I'm done.
No more.
I figured something out this week. I am me. I need to change and grow- definitely. But my standard is not man- but God. He made me the way I am for a reason. I can't be wholly objective. I'm a very emotional, passionate person. Looking at something from a rational, external view is almost entirely impossible for me. To a certain extent, yes, I should strive for impartiality, but I see no reason to entirely detach my thought process from my emotions and passions.
I don't like dealing with abstracts- unless they are words- like writing. I like concrete topics- ones I can wrap my brain around and hammer out an answer to. I do NOT like topics that men have argued about for ages and for which there is no true answer- just proofs and ideas. For instance- the topic "Does truth exist?" fascinates me. But I've found an answer. I don't mind logic- I love logic- I've considered being a lawyer, I like it so much. But I DON'T like topics like, "What is reality?" I see no point, and no crucial reason to debate that.
This year has taught me the following: I can be logical. I have no reason to fear learning new things. (I used to hate learning new things- simply because I was afraid that I would come up short- that everyone else would get it, and I wouldn't. And that I'd be labled "stupid." Hey, it actually happened in 6th grade....) I have a new passion for my education- I never want it to stop. In addition I have learned that only to a certain extent can I become like those who I want to emulate. I will always be me.
For some reason God made me the way I am. And I'm happy, because I can say along with Job,
"I know that you can do all things;
no plan of yours can be thwarted" (Job 42:2)
There's a plan. Be like Christ.
You use your logic.
I'll use my passion.
"The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ.... Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.... Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it." (I Cor. 12: 12, 14-20, 27)
And I'm done.
No more.
I figured something out this week. I am me. I need to change and grow- definitely. But my standard is not man- but God. He made me the way I am for a reason. I can't be wholly objective. I'm a very emotional, passionate person. Looking at something from a rational, external view is almost entirely impossible for me. To a certain extent, yes, I should strive for impartiality, but I see no reason to entirely detach my thought process from my emotions and passions.
I don't like dealing with abstracts- unless they are words- like writing. I like concrete topics- ones I can wrap my brain around and hammer out an answer to. I do NOT like topics that men have argued about for ages and for which there is no true answer- just proofs and ideas. For instance- the topic "Does truth exist?" fascinates me. But I've found an answer. I don't mind logic- I love logic- I've considered being a lawyer, I like it so much. But I DON'T like topics like, "What is reality?" I see no point, and no crucial reason to debate that.
This year has taught me the following: I can be logical. I have no reason to fear learning new things. (I used to hate learning new things- simply because I was afraid that I would come up short- that everyone else would get it, and I wouldn't. And that I'd be labled "stupid." Hey, it actually happened in 6th grade....) I have a new passion for my education- I never want it to stop. In addition I have learned that only to a certain extent can I become like those who I want to emulate. I will always be me.
For some reason God made me the way I am. And I'm happy, because I can say along with Job,
"I know that you can do all things;
no plan of yours can be thwarted" (Job 42:2)
There's a plan. Be like Christ.
You use your logic.
I'll use my passion.
"The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ.... Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.... Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it." (I Cor. 12: 12, 14-20, 27)
posted by COURTNEY at 11:56 AM
7 Comments:
I agree.
ah you must fid a balance. not that i normally quote America's Next Top Model, but i refer to yaya, who took critism much too far. so, my little caterpillar spreads her cantelope wings and flies, no?
-molly
your thought pattern is so similar to mine.. i can assimilate.. especially with the first paragraph and agree with/find truth in...
"To a certain extent, yes, I should strive for impartiality, but I see no reason to entirely detach my thought process from my emotions and passions."
-- a new person to the blogging world.
I disagree with the concept of balance. But that would be a massive huge debate.
good lord, can i not get anything right with bankes?
how is balance so arguable?
--molly
Read Orthodoxy, by Gilbert Keith Chesterton. He explains it. I only believe in views that can be taken to the extreme. One could say that I am an extremist. However, I haven't any problem with holding two different extremes simultaneously, so long as they don't soften or neutralize each other.
Just read Orthodoxy.
Orthodoxy
I can't seem to find any blogs on marble floors, the search engines just keep bringing up Afterism. I guess I should just try using some other search terms like marble floors, but I might browse around here a bit first, it kinda looks interesting Kort-Knee.
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