Today

Well, the audience has probably drifted away to their seperate homes. I have to mine. My reading audience (which probably consisted of two people and occasionally my father) has dwindled to just me. Which is just fine. Then I can let it all gush out and not worry about whether or not my topic is conventional and my arguments logical.

I'm sitting on my bed now. I've just finished a ginormous glass of iced tea, and I am wearing capris, which makes me think of summer. The sun is almost gone. The only trace of it left is a greyish smoky tinge to the sky with a trail of red above the trees. I love my room. It's all golden in the lamp light. The walls are a yellow-white cream with little flowers running in vines all over them. It's very dated- about 25 years old. Just old enough to look rather dated, but not old enough to be an heirloom. When I first walked into this room about ten years ago I fell in love with it. Not because of it's size, for it's the puniest room in the house- but for its windows. Their long fall almost all the way to the floor. I love windows. I will live in a hut in Africa, so long as it has wonderful windows. My theory is that yes, houses are nice, but nothing that man creates, builds, or designs could possible compete with the world that God created, built, and designed. In the morning the sun comes in a makes the room shimmer with golden sunbeams, and at night it's cozy with lamp light.

I don't know what made me go off on that poetic ramble.

My apologies.

My dream, at the end of the semester, was to compile an enormous blog that thoroughly listed and enumerated the things I had learned this past year. Whether it's good or bad I have determined that my list of lessons is not very long (at least to me...). I will attempt to sumarize them for you.

1. Don't tell everyone everything. Keep some things inside- it's what you carry in your thoughts that makes you you.

2. Sometimes you have to be disappointed to realize that you're human.

3. Friends are some of the greatest things you can possess. (Sounds trite...) I don't regret a single instance I spent building a relationship with my new crowd of girlfriends.

4. Guys are difficult.

5. Responsibility stinks. Privilege rocks!!!! :)

6. Grab every opportunity as though it was your last. In all reality, how well you do in life depends on how hard you try.

7. When you move back home things are very, very different.

This last one has been my lesson over the past few weeks. It's been grilled in more than any of the others were. Upon discussing it with one of my friends she voiced a very pertinent question: "I don't know if my mom's changed at all, but she seems more mothering." This is true. And this is hard to adjust to. Having to confine my social life to a curfew, clean my room before breakfast, and being restricted to a schedule that must fit my siblings is a life that I'd forgotten about. It's hard to squeeze back in the family mold.

But there are a lot of benefits too... Cooking baked beans again, using an entire economy sized box of generic rice puffs and three bags of marshmallows to make over one hundred rice crispies (which were gone in three days). Reading the Chronicles of Narnia every lunch and dinner time to the whole family and doing all the voices just as I imagine them. Correcting school work, grading English exams, reading Doctor Doolittle to the little sis right before bed, talking with the mom, and discovering my old baby pictures. (I was soooooo cute. What happened? However you could see my fat cheeks, even when I was only six months old. It was cute as a baby...)

I don't think I've accomplished anything in this blog.

It's nice to not feel like I have to.

Good-bye no one. :)