Fat Souls
I love to people watch. It's a habit I have. For a while (when I lived at home) my dear parents would try to curb it in hopes of getting me to behave according to societal demands and protocol, but they have since given up (on that, and other things as well.) So, as I said, I was strolling leisurely to class (leisurely because I was headed to a VERY boring class, and also currently enjoying an orange herbal tea) when all of a sudden I saw something that made me scrunch up my face. The "scrunch" was the facial expression that we all assume when we see something we view as inferior to ourselves, or something that we never want to be.
The cause of that look was a tall girl (several inches taller than me) who weighed at least 300 pounds. She was so large that she had difficulty moving and reaching her backpack on another bench. I'll be honest. My first response was proud and mean: "Oh my word! wow. I hope I'm never that huge... what kind of person lets themself go like that? Who lets it get that far? Ew." Now, before you judge me, you must admit that you have done the exact same thing at some occasion. All of us have...
I walked by, self-righteous with my herbal tea and the knowledge that I had gone running that morning and looked very cute in my classy, trim corderoy jacket. But I couldn't get rid of that image- and the horrible sinking feeling that something was wrong.
I was judging someone, and I was unconsciously judging myself. Yes, it's easy to show disgust and be appalled at the excess that we can see plainly, but what about that which you can't? We frown on outer obesity- but what about inner? What about our "fat" souls?
Who am I to turn up my nose at someone who is merely portraying for man to see what God can already see in my heart. "Man looks at the outside,"- yeah so, you're cute, handsome, toned, stylish. "But God looks at the heart"- but what about your character? Does God see gross obesity? When you refuse to say "no" to your desires- to hold you tongue, to turn off that TV show, to sleep rather than study God's word, etc.- when you indulge, you are feeding your flesh, your sinful man. No one but God can see them, but how many extra "inner" pounds are you carrying? Do your desires rule you? Is your life dictated by some obsession? How far have you let it go? What is your soul's junk food? And how often do you feed it that? When do you exercise? When do you say "no"?
God can see the inside... ALL of it.
Is your soul fat?
The cause of that look was a tall girl (several inches taller than me) who weighed at least 300 pounds. She was so large that she had difficulty moving and reaching her backpack on another bench. I'll be honest. My first response was proud and mean: "Oh my word! wow. I hope I'm never that huge... what kind of person lets themself go like that? Who lets it get that far? Ew." Now, before you judge me, you must admit that you have done the exact same thing at some occasion. All of us have...
I walked by, self-righteous with my herbal tea and the knowledge that I had gone running that morning and looked very cute in my classy, trim corderoy jacket. But I couldn't get rid of that image- and the horrible sinking feeling that something was wrong.
I was judging someone, and I was unconsciously judging myself. Yes, it's easy to show disgust and be appalled at the excess that we can see plainly, but what about that which you can't? We frown on outer obesity- but what about inner? What about our "fat" souls?
Who am I to turn up my nose at someone who is merely portraying for man to see what God can already see in my heart. "Man looks at the outside,"- yeah so, you're cute, handsome, toned, stylish. "But God looks at the heart"- but what about your character? Does God see gross obesity? When you refuse to say "no" to your desires- to hold you tongue, to turn off that TV show, to sleep rather than study God's word, etc.- when you indulge, you are feeding your flesh, your sinful man. No one but God can see them, but how many extra "inner" pounds are you carrying? Do your desires rule you? Is your life dictated by some obsession? How far have you let it go? What is your soul's junk food? And how often do you feed it that? When do you exercise? When do you say "no"?
God can see the inside... ALL of it.
Is your soul fat?
posted by COURTNEY at 4:51 PM
3 Comments:
Here's my problem:
I think that my soul's not obese, it's one of those souls that is just has a binge and purge problem. Althoug it's a backwards way of thinking, I guess. I suppose I'm self-critical in the way that is unhealthy, like I need to be super scrawny for God, which is just as bad as me being obese. Make sense?
Cause I think God wants us to be able to enjoy the fat of life... just not in excess. Which is why you aren't fat. GOSH.
-Mols.
wow, that was pretty compelling. I totally do that myself and then feel super guilty for being so judging when my own sin is not so visible yet worse that selfcontrol of eating (which i need help with too, or i'll end up fat outside too).
Hey Courtney...I found your blog. Thanks for coming in the other day. See you soon!
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