For Your Patience....

Well, I'm back. There are some things you think that just can't be blogged for public viewing. I am becoming more and more reticent about sharing my feelings, although you may not have noticed.... I think if I had gone to school like a "normal" kid, I would be a whole lot less verbal. Partially because I was always afraid of being ostracized and "un-cool." So, that is one of the great "might-have-been"s. "If Courtney had actually gone to school, would she still have a voiced opinion on every topic?" When I was in 5th grade my father told me I was verging on rude with my lack of communication. Since then, I believe he has wished that he had let me stay that way.

I am currently sitting in Stadium Dining Court, or "Ford" as it is supposed to to be called.... (I wonder how long it will be before I call it that...) In a few minutes I will have to traipse across campus and with two other people try to write a coherent research paper on ulcers which is due tomorrow. Nothing like a great topic and a team of busy procrastinators. Honestly, how can you write a paper in a group?

Nothing funny, hilarious, or exciting has happened in my life. (Aside from the fact that I'm missing America's Next Top Model season premier to write this stupid paper.) I am, in reality, a very dull, boring person. I am gradually coming to accept this fact. I will never be intelligent. I will never be gorgeous. I will never be funny, and I will never be interesting. I will never be extremely skilled, I have no special gift. I'm not a spiritual giant, I'm not even interestingly sinful. (I'm sinful, but I'm sinful in petty, shallow, common ways- as in, I'm not a drug addict or a serial killer. Mine's just as bad, just not interestingly horrifying.) I'm not kind, I don't really have the gift of sarcasm. I'm a chronic procrastinator I'm a shameless copy cat of other people. Looking over my life, I've never done anything extreme, abnormal, or heroic. I am, in the very epitome of the word- boring.

But, I am saved by grace. A man, perfect, sinless, shameless, was mutilated and killed for me. I was the reason blood poured from his forehead, but no words came from his lips. I am loved by a love so great that it's measure cannot be written across the skies, and had I all the strength and endurance to sing praise forever, I could not express in full Christ's passion for me. My every breath that is inhaled and exhaled is planned by the God who can name every star and has counted every grain of sand.

I don't know what my future holds, but I am assured that nothing will ever come between me and the great power of my "Abba's" love. I may never do great things in the eyes of the world, but I am sure, if my goal is to show this love, to live this love, to spread this love, and to defend this love, my life will be far from boring.

I am loved.

By GOD!

One word-

wow.