Are we?
Several recent encounters with girls (and women) in my private life have led me to investigate something that I've always wondered about. Are girls more likely to bend to social pressure- to seek the approbation of others- than guys are? Do we females need to feel needed?
I've read several studies on the internet-some directed to teachers, some to students, some to the government- they all agree on one thing: girls are more likely to be influenced by those around them- to seek out approval from the other people in their lives. For girls the two things that indicate a social status and which give you approval are guys and money. You have a guy- then you must be wanted. You have money- then you must have happiness.
I already knew (to some extent) that peer pressure was more prevelant in female circles, after all- we all go to the restroom together. . . So I decided to look at the one thing that all these girls in my life had done: made stupid mistakes just to feel needed by a guy. There are slews of statistics* stating the enormous number of girls who become involved in abusive or detrimental but very few sites gave any indication as to why these relationships were pursued or allowed to continue.
A few stated that girls remained in these relationships because "they are receiving implicit messages from their families and society that it is not okay to explore and develop their own identity." (But I Love Him, Jill Murray) or because they are not aware of the fact that they are being abused. Girls aren't stupid. If your boyfriend is monopolizing you, your time, controlling where you go, who you see, and being physically rough- then chances are you're in an abusive realtionship. (Pardon my sixth grade reversion but "DUH!!!")
I also do not believe that our society as a whole is sending the message of female degradation and imprisonment, if anything we are sending the exact opposite. The empowerment of women has been a front issue for over thirty years. Clearly there is no need for women to be man-dependent. There is no crying out for male approbation. Singleness is exalted in all forms of media (see some highly profitable sitcoms). And in this day and age your gender does not exclude you from any walk of life. (It can't, it's against the law.)
So. . . why are they doing it? Why do they make horrible decisions, leave family and friends, ignore godly advice, and get divorced all for some guy?
Why!!!
I want to know.
*It is estimated that by the age of 20, 33% of girls will have experienced an abusive dating relationship. - National Resource Center on Domestic Violence, 2000
*In 1994, 37% of women sought emergency room treatment for domestic violence related injuries. - US Department of Justice, Violence Related Injuries Treated In Hospital Emergency Departments
*An estimated 3-4 million women are beaten by an intimate each year. - Department of Justice Statistics, "National Domestic Violence Statistics"
* 65% of domestic homicides occurred while the victim was leaving or had left the relationship. – Uniform Crime Reports of the U.S., Federal Bureau of Investigation
*Family violence costs the nation from $5 to $10 billion annually in medical expenses, police and court costs, shelters and foster care, sick leave, absenteeism, and non-productivity. – Medical News, American Medical Association
I've read several studies on the internet-some directed to teachers, some to students, some to the government- they all agree on one thing: girls are more likely to be influenced by those around them- to seek out approval from the other people in their lives. For girls the two things that indicate a social status and which give you approval are guys and money. You have a guy- then you must be wanted. You have money- then you must have happiness.
I already knew (to some extent) that peer pressure was more prevelant in female circles, after all- we all go to the restroom together. . . So I decided to look at the one thing that all these girls in my life had done: made stupid mistakes just to feel needed by a guy. There are slews of statistics* stating the enormous number of girls who become involved in abusive or detrimental but very few sites gave any indication as to why these relationships were pursued or allowed to continue.
A few stated that girls remained in these relationships because "they are receiving implicit messages from their families and society that it is not okay to explore and develop their own identity." (But I Love Him, Jill Murray) or because they are not aware of the fact that they are being abused. Girls aren't stupid. If your boyfriend is monopolizing you, your time, controlling where you go, who you see, and being physically rough- then chances are you're in an abusive realtionship. (Pardon my sixth grade reversion but "DUH!!!")
I also do not believe that our society as a whole is sending the message of female degradation and imprisonment, if anything we are sending the exact opposite. The empowerment of women has been a front issue for over thirty years. Clearly there is no need for women to be man-dependent. There is no crying out for male approbation. Singleness is exalted in all forms of media (see some highly profitable sitcoms). And in this day and age your gender does not exclude you from any walk of life. (It can't, it's against the law.)
So. . . why are they doing it? Why do they make horrible decisions, leave family and friends, ignore godly advice, and get divorced all for some guy?
Why!!!
I want to know.
*It is estimated that by the age of 20, 33% of girls will have experienced an abusive dating relationship. - National Resource Center on Domestic Violence, 2000
*In 1994, 37% of women sought emergency room treatment for domestic violence related injuries. - US Department of Justice, Violence Related Injuries Treated In Hospital Emergency Departments
*An estimated 3-4 million women are beaten by an intimate each year. - Department of Justice Statistics, "National Domestic Violence Statistics"
* 65% of domestic homicides occurred while the victim was leaving or had left the relationship. – Uniform Crime Reports of the U.S., Federal Bureau of Investigation
*Family violence costs the nation from $5 to $10 billion annually in medical expenses, police and court costs, shelters and foster care, sick leave, absenteeism, and non-productivity. – Medical News, American Medical Association
posted by COURTNEY at 7:21 AM
1 Comments:
unconditional freaking love.
not that i was abused. I feel like it, haha, but why do you stick with anything when it just makes you unhappy? God only knows. When he decides to reveal that, I'd be the first in line to find out.
-Molly
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