Brain Mush
Those of you who know me, know that I am completely car illeterate. Some people even question if I ever really learned how to drive. Well, I am currently staring blankly at a computer screen trying to think of something to put in a car ad. Don't get me wrong. I know how to write knowledgeable sounding fluff- even on something I'm completely clueless on (I think I should become a political speech writer...) but I've currently written about 6 ads in the past 24 hours on cars and car maintenance. I wash my car- that's about all the maintenance it gets from me.
All that to say, I'm taking a break.
There are several things I've learned in the past few days which I thought I should pass on.
Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language. (I knew I didn't like that game....)
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month . which we know today as the honeymoon. (I suspect that they made him drunk so he wouldn't see what kind of a bargain he had gotten...)
In conclusion: At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow. :)
I miss you so much as I think of you,
I'll keep the old friends and make some new.
Now the sun is shining, and there is no rain,
So may your day bring you nothing but gain.
All that to say, I'm taking a break.
There are several things I've learned in the past few days which I thought I should pass on.
Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language. (I knew I didn't like that game....)
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month . which we know today as the honeymoon. (I suspect that they made him drunk so he wouldn't see what kind of a bargain he had gotten...)
In conclusion: At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow. :)
I miss you so much as I think of you,
I'll keep the old friends and make some new.
Now the sun is shining, and there is no rain,
So may your day bring you nothing but gain.
posted by COURTNEY at 8:34 AM
5 Comments:
muah. no wonder molly hates golf. gosh!
You didn't know that you couldn't lick your elbow! That's the oldest trick in the book! (Or maybe the third oldest or so.) I recall that time when you and Mark and I were outside of the church and Mark or I told you that "gullible" was written on the ceiling, and you looked up and there wasn't even a ceiling. Just for the record, I did not try to lick my elbow. And 86% of all statistics are made up.
David, the numbers in that statistic about the percents changes every time you tell it... And we were INSIDE the church building when you and Mark did it... or maybe it was just Mark. I don't remember- but I DO remember the white paneled ceiling.
We did it to you again, right after that outside. We got you twice in like 20 minutes wit the same thing. I think you repressed the memory of the second time. I remember it.
A
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