Sunday, August 28, 2005

He's Just Not That Into You

Okay, ever read the book that is graced with the above title?

I picked it up one day in Borders. Let it suffice to say that you would have to be a complete idiot to need this book. For instance:

"I've called and called and called. He 's not returning any of my messages. What's up?"

or

"He just never wants to spend time with me."

Duh.

"HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!!!"

But unfortunately it's the truth that we often need that. ("We" in this context meaning females.) When it comes to getting, hanging onto a guy or simply fostering crush, we are often sadly blind to the fact that he's just not interested. And every girl can look objectively at her sister's, girlfriend's, roommate's relationship and tell them that "He's just not that into you." But when it comes to her own- well, let's face it ladies, we're a little slow.

We (this time meaning everyone) place so much emphasis and stock in the relationships that surround our life. We build hopes and dreams in humans. Our happiness is too often subconsciously wrapped up in everyone else's actions.

God has been teaching me a lot. Constantly. In some of the most difficult situations. People aren't perfect. When you place your happiness in their hands- well, you're happiness is going to be a pretty patchy, irregular emotion. It won't be true joy.

My trust, my confidence, my faith shouldn't be placed in man's hands. It shouldn't be dependent on others and their actions.

Two thousand years ago a man came to earth. A perfect man. The man who was completely and totally "into me." So into me was he, that he lived a flawless life (despite temptation) and died an excrutiating death so that he could welcome me into his eternal paradise. And today, every day, he loves me with a love so great and unmeasurable that my human brain and heart cannot comprehend it. He is interested in each minute detail of my life. He wants to be with me through it all. With such a gift, with such love, why am I looking around for content in my fellow mankind? Why are people the source of my joy, when GOD died for me to present me with eternal, unchangeable happiness?

Why do I look elsewhere?

Why do I not trust him with my happiness and future?

Why?

When life screams back at me, "He's just not that into you!!!" my happiness is not destroyed.

Because the God of the universe is totally, and completely in control.

He's into me.

That love amazes me.

Wow.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

First Ever

You'll never guess what I had last night!!!!

Go ahead. Try. You won't be able to.

I HAD MY FIRST GOING BACK TO SCHOOL NIGHTMARE!!!! I've never had those before! After all, all I ever did to go back to school was to wake up, walk down the stairs, and fight with my siblings about who got the desk furthest away from my mother. Going back to school has never been that adventurous, so I never had nightmares (although I've heard about all of the "I was naked in the hallway." or the really lame "It was a pop-quiz worth our entire grade!!!") But I just had my first, official back to school nightmare.

(and let me tell you, this one was creepy.)

I woke up, my alarm hadn't gone off and I was late. I rolled out of bed in a track suit (apparently I hadn't done laundry in a while and had no pajamas.) grab my bag, and head to the bus stop. I think I had to chase the bus. At least I was in running gear... After I board the thing at the corner next to Hillenbrand it suddenly occurs to me-

I'M LIVING IN McCUTCHEON!!!!

IN THE SAME ROOM!!!

WITH THE SAME ROOMMATE!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHH!

What happened to me and Molly? Where was our conveniently close, pirate-meets-fairy decorated room, complete pirate flag and sparkles and those spastic accessories that we both love? Apparently I had been banished back to "the ghetto" and any hope of rooming with a fellow drama queen was squashed.

I turned in horror as I watched Hillenbrand roll by- proof that I was indeed still living out in the boonies. But as I turned I caught a glimpse of myself in the window. And I felt a sinking in my stomach. Tears welled up in my eyes- my completely un-made up eyes. Yes, dear reader, I had left my room- forgetting to do my make-up, AND my hair. I've gone without make-up before (and I got all these comments about how sick I looked, and "don't you need to go home and rest?" But I handled it, I'm brave, and humble.) But to go without doing THE HAIR. That is true tragedy. Anyone who knows me will also know that I love my hair. I don't think it's all that special or beautiful, I just like doing stuff with it. It's a hobby. Other people remodel cars, or cook or something. I dye my hair, style my hair, buy products for my hair. It has been called my great love story. It really is a problem-free relationship. There are no arguments, no rejection, and (since I'm female) no potential leaving.... I think I'm going to take David's advice and marry my hair.

Any way, my nightmare got worse. I tried to get breakfast and found that Purdue now only accepts money- no meal plans. Great, now I'll be even poorer. I fumble around for my few pennies when I learn that instead of the raisin Bran I've been craving, an obligatory greasy croisant complete with eggs and slimey cheese was part of breakfast. (I HATE those) I turn around with my tray of food, and see the room entirely peopled by guys (I now deduce that I am in the guy's food court) and several skinny cheerleaders. Apparently you can only get in (if you're female) if you have a date.

I (total klutz) stumble to the door, trying to grab a bag for my food (only to discover they had none and I had to put that greasy mass in my bag) and as I push the door open I know- I'm going to be late for class because I left my entire schedule (class times, room numbers, the whole she-bang) back in my room.

And then I woke up.

If I believed that dreams told something of the future I would now be convinced that Molly and I were going to be seperated as soon as the Windsor people were informed that we both have explosive, dramatic behaviors, and the only place left for me was in that remote dorm known as "the ghetto." I would then have all my make-up stolen and my hair privleges revoked by my parents, and my entire year would be spent eating greasy food as a dateless loser. I will also be late to every class and flunk out of college.

Since I don't believe that dreams foretell the future- I jumped out of bed ran down stairs and gave my mom a big hug.

"Guess what!!!!! I've just had my first back-to-school nightmare!!!! YIPPEEEEEE!!!!"

I then proceeded to dance about the kitchen in my pj's.